70% Awesome time away with FS
30% Shit time away with FS
The 30% was because of my retarded emo-ness. Something is wrong with me I'm sure. I got so so mad such a little petty thing.. all because the boy didn't offer to get me a drink from a shop.
We argued about it on the way back to our hotel, and by the time we go there no words were being spoken. It scared me. I knew I had gone over the line by a mile. It was my fault. I started crying. He was so mad at the way I had spoken to him and what I was blaming him for. He kept saying that this was not going to work. It broke my heart to hear him say that. It upset me more. He wasn't comforting me because how I had treated him. He didn't want a "reconciliation."
We talked it over. I kept repeating how ending it is not what I want. We come to the conclusion that if we were to argue again on our last day away it would be over.
There were little things that I got upset about during the day.. but I bit my tongue..because I really think there is something the matter with my mind. I'm not saying I'm crazy.. I think I'm hormonal.. I think I'm insecure.. I think I'm very unhappy with my life.. I take it out on people who don't put me on a pedestal. I have too high expectations.. I thought I deserved to have high expectations, but my expectations are so not do-able. No one can satisfy me.
This makes me feel shit.
At least I have come to these realisations.. I'm gonna get this sorted..for everyone's sake!
The 70% was amazing. I do love him. He is a good boy.
Here I was starting to wonder if you would ever return to the bloggosphere.
ReplyDeleteSome people focus on the 30%, others focus on the 70%. Enjoy the 70% D, and forget about the 30%.