I had..

..the most funnest time last night. It felt good not to be the mama who looks after everyone..I'm now the mama who looks after herself. Plenty of mischief had..

More juice later.. Need sleep.. Seedy

Dating politics are effed..!

I have some juiciness..!

In a VERY weird twist of events.. I ended up hooking up with my first ever boyfriend.. ever..! We ha been talking for a while, there's been some harmless flirting here and there. But I never saw it coming. Don't get me wrong, the texting frequented to 4am in the morning texts, but waffles brought us together. I brag that I make the best waffles..! And I had to prove myself, I made some awesome banana and chocolate waffles..! And they worked. We ended up spending the whole day together (which is something I haven't experienced in a very LONG time) we went to this lake area where we went bushwalking and sat on these massive rocks hanging over the edge of the lake in the sun.. It was so nice to have some decent company. Then he started throwing sticks at me. And I knew it was on.

Then we ended up back at my place in my room watching Hot Fuzz.. And all we did was talk through it. Then he started the tickling (I am very ticklish) and then we just kinda ended up together. It was really weird. 

It felt so good getting cuddles. I haven't had them in a long time. 

But then.. after he left, my mum to give me her opinion. And it hurt. He is kinda not my type (Do I only seem to attract these types lol?) and my mum brought up the fact that we're so connected by our friends and family (we're all good family friends) and that we're all gonna know each other business and it's just gonna be all gossip. And THEN she brought up the whole "Are you just getting desperate because you haven't got anyone on the side besides him. He's not your type. He's a nice boy but I dont think so..?"

And that killed me. And it also make me do a second thought. What if I am being desperate..? Is this settling for second best? All these thoughts keep running through my head, and I can't get them out. He's been texting me all day. And I love it. But what if I am acting desperate and don't realise until it's too late? Hurt him in the process. Dump him (for the second time..lol). Maybe i might see him again and nothing's there? What the hell do I do? I really don't want to hear anybodies opinions. He's very very sweet. Surprisingly.. But he is a party boy.. And has made it clear he is nowhere near settling, he's mates come first and all of that bros before hoes yada yada.. And I am the EXTREME opposite. I want marriage and babies. And slightly soon. If possible.. Lol.

So when I asked him what the go is with us last night, he said that we're just gonna run with it and see where it takes us. What does that mean?

What the bloody hell do I do...?

I hate the state of confusion..

I also went out on Satdy night, and met absolutely NO ONE..! Hahaha...! And at the place that it was, I'm kinda glad.. so friggin seedy hey. There was my big bang into single life. Lol..!