I would love to say that's a world record for me but it's already been done-the record was 4 days. Pat on the back to me.
So I still can't really explain the delicious mess that I shared with Woobie, but just know this. That it was deliciously messy. And I'm still head over heels. Though of course it is fading.. I'm slightly on standby in a way (by choice, you'll understand when I finally explain myself) and I'm just kind of at a standstill. Also by choice.
I would love to say that I'm in love with him. Some part of me is I think. A tiny tiny bit. I can't let go. I don't wish to let go. Everything has been amicable, there's no one to blame. That's what's so hard. Usually when a relationship ends, it's because it's "broken," and someone's usually hateful or upset...it's easier to make the cut when you want them dead. Pretty much.
But this is different. Of course it is.. We're still friends. He needs time to realise what he wants and needs time to get back on his feet and just be happy in his own skin. I understand. But at the same time I wish I could be selfish and and change everything myself.. I want him and want to be with him now, and not in a week or a month or a year.
And I also don't want anyone else. It's like I have blinkers on. I'm only seeing him. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not. Le sigh. I just want everything to work out.
Anyways, something this weekend has brought to my attention: Nice Boys.
Why oh why do the good girls always want the bad boys?!
We always whinge about the bad boys, get hurt by the bad boys, cry about the bad boys. Yet when we have a nice boy, we are not even considering him. We aren't attracted. We look straight through them. What is it with that?!
I know a nice boy who could give me everything that I could ever want and need. We'll call him..Clipper. He's so sweet and caring. A gentleman who opens the door for me. Fun loving and silly. Deep and mysterious.
But I've put him in the "I think of you as like my brother..and I don't even have a brother" File.
I kinda hate myself for that.
I shouldn't.
It's always the way right?
