Falling apart..but maybe into place.

Right now I have so many things going on.. Things beginning, things coming to a standstill, and things ending.

Im so unsure where to go at this point. Friendships are failing; others are strengthening. (Is that a word?) My friendship with "Selfish Snob" has been sorted out, only after a few agressive phone calls..im glad I can hold onto our friendship..but I have come to the realisation how truly different we have become.. And how im not really a fan of these changes. Its different. And its a shame. I've rekindled a lost friendship with an old friend whom I'll call "Lainie"..who I actually met via "Selfish Snob" and got along with famously due to our dry humour, bossiness and vain. We're going through the same things at the moment, so I think we'll do each other a world of good. And company for Field Day and Good Vibrations.

My relationship with Dentist boy is at a standstill..maybe in my head...maybe in reality. We had another fight after the one I originally blogged about which lead me to think that I deserved better. I ended up defending myself and now having done so has made the boy drop back a bit I think. Being treated like shit and taking it is one thing, but being spoken to like crap, defending myself and not taking it, then being being treated like this is another. I don't blame the boy; I called him a whiny selfish baby in pretty much those words, told him if I wanted a child to look after I'd go get myself pregnant..um yeah I know pretty tactless.. But he expects me to drop every thing for him even when he's already told me he's too busy..that's not fair. And after our chat we went back to our normally silly selves again, kisses, cuddles, hand holding. It felt stronger at that point. I was happy. And then.. A change. No messages..no calls..no x's on the end of the few messages I have received (yes, text interpretation is a dangerous thing) and now..I feel like its either playing dormant or close to the finish line.. And it doesn't feel good.

Im crying out for some stability! It could just be my raging PMS though.. hoping for a clearer mind next week..and some text messages from the boy with x's on the end..


P.S I'l regale you about Melbourne later.

Is not amused..

At least Forgetting Sarah Marshall is cheering me up..

But then reminding me of break ups.. Lol. Saturday night is a real lose-lose situation.

Anyways. I'm having the night home tonight as my best friend has dogged me.. She doesn't seem to know how to go out without her sister.. I loveee her sister, we've had mad awesome times out all of us..Both of them are awesome. But my friend-I'll call her Selfish Snob-(that's a little mean, but meh) has gone from being independent to dependent.. We used to go out all the time, just us. Now she can't do anything without her sister (we'll call her Princess Snob). And it seems they only do things that will benefit themselves.

And what makes it worse is she's dogged me for a friend who I also know too, and whom i've invited to my parties and stuff but she's never invited me out. So it really is pissing me off. And Facebook showed me that Princess Snob initiated changing plans with this other friend (let's call her Tuna in Brine) even after making plans with me..

They have a habit of doing that. And being really unfashionably late. They think it's fashionable. It's not bitches..!

The problem now what I'm faced with is that I'm realising that these are traits I do not wish to have in my friends.. But I've just bought tickets to 2 summer musical festivals that we planned to attend together.. So what the hell do I do??

And the other thing is, they buy me really expensive looking designer things..like clutches, jewellery. I cannot compete with that. I cannot afford that stuff..! 

And another thing, they drink too much.. I mean, drinking on occasions is great..but these girls drink to excess and they are tiny..so after just one drink they are pretty much blotto, and they keep drinking, until they are legless and literally can't walk. I hate being their babysitter. So many nights got ruined due to their drunkness.. 

These are girls that I have known since high school.. so like.. 12 years or so..! This is pretty shit.

I never have had a true best best friend.. I'd really like to have one sometime in this life..! Maybe I'm being the bitch.. but I can never seem to find someone like me.