This week comprised of:
- a resolution with Fireman Sam.
- drunken texts to Footy Boy..that may have gone too far.. hehe.
- a resolution with Lainie. (?)
- a deep resentment for singledom//couples.
- a realisation that I have no "real" friends.. or I have some, that just hang out with other people.
- another realisation that my seperated parents are really meant to be together.
-
Happy Hour at Roof Bar - $3 drinks between 5 and 7pm.
So I might start point by point..
FS: Yes! Omg! Closure. But I miss him. Urk.
On my drunken Thursday night, I spotted him on Facebook and in my drunken state of mind thought I must must must speak to him it is vital!
"talk to me Sammmmmmmm.. pleaseeeeee"
"what is it"
"i'm sorry, i'm really sorry. i'm sorry for everything"
"ok ur forgiven"
"do y
ou hate me i don't want you to hate me"
"why would i hate you"
"because of everything thats happened.. i shouldnt really be saying sorry to you after everything, but i am, im sorry for everything" (little did he know, I meant I was sorry for ever meeting him..)
"its ok"
"have you got my cardi"
lol
"yes ill send it i forgot your address.. what is it"
Yes!!!
After exchanging my address, I simply said:
"i'm glad we had this chat"
"me too"
"bye"
lol
Ok so I felt sooo much better after that. I don't want anyone hating on me. And I'm getting my cardigan back.. at this stage anyways.. woo hoo! But in finding this closure, I realised I miss him. I miss him so much. I miss that good for nothin fool! Argh. Maybe I just miss his presence..like someone was there..even though he was good for nothin!
I'm sure it will pass.
Footy Boy - and the drunken texts.
They were MY drunken texts (I just can't help myself can I? haha)
I was sitting by myself as Dr Crazy had left me to go get some more cheap $3 goon-or Sparkling Wine as it's properly known as-and was filling silly. The morning texts had stopped! What the! So I decided to message him, after denying myself the pleasure all day. Started off something like: "How you doing how's your day?"
I find out he's in China! For business. We get onto the subject of wine, then promises to call him.
I go to call. No answer.
Grr.
I get a text straight back. "The hostess on the plane is looking at me funny! I'll call you when I land"
This not being good enough, and not wanting the communication to end there, I kept it up. And for some reason I blurted out that I've missed him.. I've never met anyone like him (which is very true..but I can't remember him anymore, lol!) Yada yada.. to which I get back:
"ive missed you too, really cant wait to catch up, alots changed since i have seen you last, will be good to see you"
Lol.. Ok so I took it to far. And he's been messaging me since. Like I had to profess my undying love for him to get more messages, lol!
He's back 4th of May. Not sure how to feel about it. Am I just being desperate? But I feel like, if I was being desperate I'd be hanging on to the phone, waiting for a message, calling, getting all bahjiggity! But I'm not. I almost feel like I've taken shape of a guy. Those ones who tell you they miss you, but really don't, keep you stringin' along till something better pops up. Hrmm..
I do miss the early times we had together..we had soo much fun. Like when you meet someone you click with soo well, and you do proper dates and holding hands is like such a cute thing, sneaking subtle kisses here and there, it was all so new and I was head over heels, he was truly someone different to the normal losers I meet. But then it started to slip away.. And it never was the same. I've written about the end before.. check it out in my label Footy Boy :)
Oh well, it's some sort of excitement in the man sector..
Lainie, Lainie, Lainie.
What are we going to do with her? Her Facebook now officially states she is in a relationship-oh goody-and she's making all these lovely plans. Especially going to that music festival with me. I so did not want to give my tickets up for We Love Sounds, but she initially said she couldn't go and then turned around and said she could, and she wants to go with me. I have put alot of that crap behind me, I want to go so badly because it looks like so much fun. But I don't know what to expect. I almost feel sightly like she's using me.
Hrm.
I'm sure we'll find out when she gets my money for the ticket..next week.
Everywhere I turn there is always a couple..or a couple of couples, almost rubbing their happiness in my face. Of course they're not rubbing it in at all. But it feels like it..like a stab in the back.
When will I be in the couples club making everyone else vomit with my PDA'S??
It's not an aim..but it's been sooo long.
So I'm home alone on a Saturday night, hanging out with my parents..I'm having fun spending the time together, as my mum and dad haven't hung out together since I don't even know when, but part of my keeps longing to go out.. longing to be with friends. But then it strikes me.. they're with their boyfriends..husbands.. they're doing other better important things..that don't include me. And it's slightly upsetting. I'm loving this time at home to do stuff for myself, reflect and all that..but I don't know how much longer I can stay at home. I long to be out being silly, meeting and making new friends, to forget the old ones. Drinking nice whites, and even Vodka and Red Bulls..dancing like no one's watching..and just laughing. I never knew making new friends would be this hard. I guess it doesn't help living so far away from everyone. I'll just blame that for the moment.
And today is crazy, as I said before, my parents are hanging out for the first time in yonks. My dad has been here since 9:30am.. it's now.. 6:51pm. We went to lunch and shopping and watched movies and had a nice homemade satay and it's so weird. This is how it was m
eant to be. I can see by the way they talk to each other, look at each other, they miss each other. There's some kind of light and spark. It's kinda cute.
I think it would be stranger than fiction if something was to happen and go further.. kinda scary actually.
That satay was so yum. I think I could easily fall asleep.. My dad is constantly calling out to me. How annoying. He ain't livin' here. lol.
