Very mild.

Minute even. I read the article. Some has stuff that I know I have tendencies of.. But other stuff I really am sure that I do not have this "disorder" thingie seriously. 

It is actually quite severe to people who suffer OCDP seriously. It's sad actually, and according to this article takes quite a lot of complex and lengthy treatment. Sufferers have like an issue with perfectionism. Everything has to be perfect, and the standards that the sufferers have are imposed on everyone around them. Once a flaw is spotted, it is pointed out, to make the person recognise their flaw(s) (thinking that this is a good thing for the flawed person to help "improve" themselves) without even realising that this is putting down the person. I can't even count on two hands the number of times I have been told how hurtful I had been, how critical, how thoughtless, when pointing out "flaws." I never even realised I was doing it. 

But it also says that sufferers are quite harsh, unemotional people, who don't feel anything and cannot express their emotions. I definitely know that I am not one of these people. I crack at the moment something happens I can't control..I instantly blurt out how i feel. I have the need to talk it out, resolve. So I don't know I fit in the scheme of things when it comes to the OCDP.

Anyways, some awesome progress. I have finally thought of a story line to start my writing. I think I'm going to base it on me and Sunny's relationship, and where we are at now. There's quite a lot of stories that came from those 2 years of that relationship. I have a title as well. But no revealing anything yet. ;)

Clarity costs $130 an hour

So I have my first appointment with my new friend the Shrink tomorrow morning.  An appointment came up, so instead of waiting another 8 weeks for another appointment to come up, I thought "Why not?" I think I'm kinda excited in a way.. I love to talk and babble, and she's not going to be there to interrupt me and talk all over the top of me..So it's just going to be all about me tomorrow..not that it isn't already all about me..

Well I'd like to think it is anyways.

I'm hoping this will help pave the pathway to what I want.. I desperately need to know. I

So anyways. I've just realised tonight how much I've let myself go. I dyed my hair tonight 3.0 dark brown (the mousey brown was taking over argh!) and I did like a face mask thingie, did my feet (I get really dry skin it's nasty..) and it truly made me feel better. I haven't done the self-maintenance thing in so long. I guess I thought I didn't need to after spending so long with FS (curse him) and since I have been out to meet anyone yet (not that it's my aim to right now) I think I should try a little harder. I think I may go and get my eyebrows done tomorrow, since I haven't done them in months. I've never been to get them done..So I don't know whether to expect hurties or what.

This book I'm reading "Almost French" has really got me imagining myself in Paris.. With every page I read, the increase in desire to want to go to France. The FS situation has actually made me feel like I need to do alot more with my life instead of just standing still and sabotaging my own personal growth for someone who clearly wasn't interested in doing that for me. 

To start, I bought a kit with 3 CD's and a course book. I'm teaching myself French. Starts tomorrow.

As well..I really want to do this writing thing. I know all I've done is bitch about men and how terrific they are not, but I know I can do it. This is something I know I definitely want to do with my life. As for Floristry not so sure. I love it..The creativity and colour..But I don't think it's going to be something that I could do and always be satisfied. Seeing something published with a beautiful hard cover is something I know that would satisfy me every time.  That's even if I get to that point. But I'd like to think that I will. I've bought all these lovely writing reference books to sort myself and my english out..I don't think thingie and uber are really in the dictionary.

I think every step I take forwards will get me somewhere. I just have to stay possimistic.

Oh, and I may be moving out with my father. Interesting.

I spoke to FS today on Facebook.. He annoyed me. I hate his "whatever" respsonse. Dickhead.