In a VERY weird twist of events.. I ended up hooking up with my first ever boyfriend.. ever..! We ha been talking for a while, there's been some harmless flirting here and there. But I never saw it coming. Don't get me wrong, the texting frequented to 4am in the morning texts, but waffles brought us together. I brag that I make the best waffles..! And I had to prove myself, I made some awesome banana and chocolate waffles..! And they worked. We ended up spending the whole day together (which is something I haven't experienced in a very LONG time) we went to this lake area where we went bushwalking and sat on these massive rocks hanging over the edge of the lake in the sun.. It was so nice to have some decent company. Then he started throwing sticks at me. And I knew it was on.
Then we ended up back at my place in my room watching Hot Fuzz.. And all we did was talk through it. Then he started the tickling (I am very ticklish) and then we just kinda ended up together. It was really weird.
It felt so good getting cuddles. I haven't had them in a long time.
But then.. after he left, my mum to give me her opinion. And it hurt. He is kinda not my type (Do I only seem to attract these types lol?) and my mum brought up the fact that we're so connected by our friends and family (we're all good family friends) and that we're all gonna know each other business and it's just gonna be all gossip. And THEN she brought up the whole "Are you just getting desperate because you haven't got anyone on the side besides him. He's not your type. He's a nice boy but I dont think so..?"
And that killed me. And it also make me do a second thought. What if I am being desperate..? Is this settling for second best? All these thoughts keep running through my head, and I can't get them out. He's been texting me all day. And I love it. But what if I am acting desperate and don't realise until it's too late? Hurt him in the process. Dump him (for the second time..lol). Maybe i might see him again and nothing's there? What the hell do I do? I really don't want to hear anybodies opinions. He's very very sweet. Surprisingly.. But he is a party boy.. And has made it clear he is nowhere near settling, he's mates come first and all of that bros before hoes yada yada.. And I am the EXTREME opposite. I want marriage and babies. And slightly soon. If possible.. Lol.
So when I asked him what the go is with us last night, he said that we're just gonna run with it and see where it takes us. What does that mean?
What the bloody hell do I do...?
I hate the state of confusion..
I also went out on Satdy night, and met absolutely NO ONE..! Hahaha...! And at the place that it was, I'm kinda glad.. so friggin seedy hey. There was my big bang into single life. Lol..!
If you don't wanna know what I think turn away now.
ReplyDeleteBut if you do wanna know what I think, well, I think whether he is right for you or not doesn't matter until you both want the same things. Because without that, somebody is only going to end up getting hurt.
I also think what I think doesn't matter.
I'm not sure what to tell you to do. I hope everything works out though. Very juicy post by the way =)
ReplyDeleteI'm confused. Do you mean he was your first ever boyfriend or this is the first guy you've ever claimed as one.
ReplyDeleteBushwalking? Please help the confused American.
It seems like what he is saying is that he doesn't intend to stress trying to qualify your relationship.
- Kendall
P. S. I have an award waiting for you on my blog.
(Sorry my comment takes up so much space haha)
ReplyDeleteThis WAS juicy. And it's so neat that you are going through some similar situations as me.
I'm pretty much in what some would call a "love triangle". Yeah, not as fun as watching one..
Anyways, I know you don't want to hear anyone's opinions; believe me I know how you feel. I'll just give some insight. Take it or leave it.
1. You can't help who you love. Really. You can't.
2. Opposites attract.
3. Some things change over time.
4. You need to be completely honest with yourself.
5. Rushing is no good. I learned that first hand and recently.
This probably doesn't help but I hope everything works out for the best.
Confusion and remorse are my enemies.
(Oh and in my situation we ALMOST watched Hot fuzz but instead ended up watching Knocked Up haha. I love Hot Fuzz though.)
Coincidence that the word verification is makeing me type "boyless"? Hmm..