I want to keep writing..!

There's been recent exits of the "men" (If you could call them that) that have been in my life for quite some time. I'll refer to them as Ute Boy, Footy Boy, and Overseas Boy. Their alias names give a bit of a description already. Typical Australian boys.

We'll start with Ute boy.

Met: 2oo7, but have known since the dawn of time (Primary School, he was the year above. Then we went to the same High School. I had a crush.)

Where: PJ Gallaghers. A mediocre Irish pub. It's like high school reunion in that place.

How: A cheesy first liner.

           "You can come closer..I'm not gonna bite.."

           A killer ute also helped.

So, with a little influence from a crush that had lasted over 10 years or so, I passed on my number. We arranged a first date of dinner at an Italian resturaunt and a viewing of Shrek III. It was a fabulous first date; the best I had ever had. Up until that point, anyways. It was lust at first sight and I was very easily persuaded.. Before I knew, I had fallen head over heels within the first night.

We followed up with a 2nd, 3rd and 4th. Dinners, a DVD and sleepovers. 

I discovered he was seeing someone else whilst seeing me via MySpace. Only because of a snooping friend of a friend who was also the "other girl". My intial reaction was that of immediate hate and betrayal. How dare he had done that to me. Me..! Me..!!!! But for some reason we slipped back into seeing each other. It just happened. And the trust issues never were an issue. I don't know why, but we just worked.

It was a very on and off relationship. He would say he didn't want a girlfriend. Wasn't ready for the commitment. Wasn't ready to have a better half. Liked the single life. But wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Silly me fell into a nice puddle of denial for a few months. I hoped and prayed he would like me, that I was a different girl..Like I could make him be a boyfriend. My boyfriend. Mine.

Then, one day, I had some kind of epiphany. It had struck me. "This guy doesn't want a girlfriend. He doesn't want me". 

I ended it. Well after giving the ultimatum "It's me or nothing." You can only guess what his answer were.

And we drifted back again. And again. And again.

And each time, we would get closer. We learnt so much about each other. It was a given right that Thursday night was our night. We didn't even call each other to double check if the night was still on. It just was.

I had fallen back into the hoping and praying. And the vicious cycle would come around and around again and again. I never learnt anything. I tried playing it cool. I tried not caring. But I couldn't. Because I cared too much.

The last time we were together..I nabbed him as a boyfriend. For 4 day. 4 Days. I managed to talk him into it. And I managed to talk him out of it without even knowing. I had been talking too much. Ute Boy had sent a text which was meant for a mate but had mistakenly been sent to me. It was very hurtful, about how I talk so much shit. I made a fuss. He dumped me. Me. Me..!!

It was like stepping back to the beginning again.

This went on for nearly 2 years. How can people who don't really appreciate each other..don't really "like" each other last that long..?

After a month or so, we started talking. But something is different now. We're just friends.

Just friends.

I'll tell you about Footy Boy next time.